Written by David Woods Bartley
We all know the story.
A man walks on a beach covered with starfish washed up on the shore, stranded and at risk of dying in the hot sun.
There are so many of them, and being a good, kind-hearted man, he finds his heart and mind aching at the sight of so many in peril. But there are far too many starfish to make a real difference. And so the man continues down the beach, trying his best to focus his gaze on something more positive than these stranded sea creatures.
Not long after, he comes upon a young boy who is picking up starfish after starfish and tossing them back into the ocean, thereby preserving their lives.
When the man comes abreast of the young boy, he shares the epiphany he had just a short while earlier. Wanting to spare the young lad any illusions of grandeur, he says, “Son, there are so many starfish on the beach that there’s absolutely no way you can make a meaningful difference to all of them.”
Without missing a beat, the young boy picks up one more of the many, tosses the fortunate one back into the sea, then turns to face the man and says, “Made a difference to that one.”
I have always loved this story, and its powerful moral is, of course, that while we can’t help everyone, we shouldn’t let that stop us from helping those we can. That’s an important message and one of the reasons this famous tale continues to inspire.
But lately I’ve been thinking: What about the other starfish?
Couldn’t the man have joined in and thrown some starfish back into the sea, thereby doubling the young boy’s efforts?
Or couldn’t the two of them have sprinted up the beach and then knocked on the doors of the nearby homes, the really nice ones with amazing ocean views?
And when the residents opened the door, the passionate duo could have detailed both the crisis and the opportunity, thus recruiting the homeowners to join them in their worthy cause, especially since most, if not all, of the starfish were still alive?
Stuck, yes.
Trapped, certainly.
But some breeds of starfish can live up to 28 hours after washing ashore.
I ask all this because I believe we are looking at the crisis of suicide in the same way.
As it stands, virtually every public health campaign related to suicide is entirely focused on reducing the number of completed suicides. The good news is that the consistency of these messages has informed us, the public, of the tragic fact that we lose nearly 50,000 men, women, and children to suicide every year.
It’s important we know this.
But what about the other starfish?
Please let me explain.
If you add up the populations of Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles, and Philadelphia, the total is roughly 20,000,000. That’s equal to the number of people in the United States who, in the course of a year, either attempt suicide, have a very specific and detailed plan for suicide, or, at some point during the year, seriously consider killing themselves.
These are the other starfish.
They’re stranded in the “Hell” of their experience, but they’re still alive and breathing.
But where is our public health campaign directed at them?
Where is the specific messaging for the person who attempted but didn’t complete? Or for the person who was all set to end their life—plan, date, means to do so, all in place—but didn’t? Or for the person who touched that dangerous place of hopelessness, where, for a moment at least, suicide made perfect sense, but they were able to shake loose of the idea?
What could we learn from these brave, magnificent, resilient souls? What could they share with us from their journey to and from the metaphorical “other side” of suicidal ideation?
The point is, these 20,000,000 precious souls, our family members, our neighbors, our classmates, our 1st Responders, our CEOs, our Soldiers, the person in front of us at the 7-11, and every other variation of humanity, are still alive.
But we are acting as if they aren’t. We act as if attempters won’t try again (wrong), planners won’t move on to attempting (wrong), or those who seriously considered killing themselves won’t move on to planning (wrong yet again).
What if we treated this like the proverbial sales funnel, directing targeted messaging to each level of hurt and, in doing so, reducing the number of people who slip further toward completing suicide?
I might be wrong, but in my mind, if fewer people consider suicide, fewer plan for it, and even fewer attempt it, I’m pretty certain that would mean fewer would complete it.
Maybe it’s worth a try?
Author Bio:
Despite decades of hard work, deep commitment, and significant investment, suicide continues to devastate individuals, families, organizations, and entire communities. This is not a failure of dedication. It shows we must be willing to attack the problem from a totally different front.
I am passionately committed to helping lead a shift from reactive suicide prevention to proactive Life Preservation: an upstream, human-centered approach focused on creating connection before a crisis occurs. Because connection creates hope, and hope preserves lives.
As a globally recognized mental health advocate, three-time TEDx speaker, 2021 Steinberg Institute Mental Health Champion, and 2025 Speaker of the Year for Mental Health and Suicide, I draw from my deeply personal journey from mental “hellness” to mental wellness to bring difficult conversations into the open.
Through more than 1,000 presentations across four continents, I have dedicated my life to helping individuals and organizations understand mental illness differently and embrace practical strategies that allow people to feel seen, heard, valued, and never alone.